proud

im not proud of most of the things i've done in life
but if i were to confess some of them
they would include boys.
yes, boys.


i know im not that pretty
and i know im not that ugly either.
so when i guy makes eye contact i assume it means something
but as we all know, assuming makes an ass outta u n me.


one day after touch training i found out that they had a new guy in it.
farkhan
damn he's cute.
so after showering and all that we headed to al ameen
he was blasting his mp3
the other side was dangling
so i took it n listened
keeping close to him looking over his shoulder trying to look at the songs
when he changed it once
i was all like why u change...
like manje2 like that.
now that i think about it im disgusted by myself.
so yeah.
and after all that he ended up with *erx
yeah.
so plain fucking dumb
what made me think all those shitnitz?
gaah~


now that i look at him again.
i find him boring.
ok not really
nice to look at
but still...
bleargh


another BIG mistake would be how i will think some guy likes me
and then all of a sudden he has a gf
whatever.
i think i'll just stick to the rough me.
who cares?
aku mcm tak laku jer...
bleah


busted a whole load of cash today.
wants more cash
wants fauzie laily syed azmir electrico and ronin
wants a hair cut
wants to feel wind in face
wants to run
wants to feel lactic acid in muscles
flab flab flab flab flaaaabbb---