Hazel Eyes

Just a few days ago while I was under my block, I contemplated slamming my forehead on the sharp corner of a slab of rectangular wall. Upon impact, I wanted to fall on my back and just bleed to death if it was possible. I wanted to be found by a stranger. I wanted to detach myself from my life. I wanted to look like a cold misplaced body. I didn't want my parents to find me or bury me. I wanted to be buried under a fake name. If that was possible.


Today, I have another loser anthem. I found out stuff that I'd rather not know. I'd rather live a lie. I'd rather a lot of other things. *Sigh* So that bunny. And that cat. They should gobble each other up.


I'm starting to think that the good news that I got to know on Wednesday was all just a hoax. Or a jump-into-conclusion sort of stuff. But whenever I'm in school, I can't help wondering. And then I see those people again. And I get sick and I slowly come to terms that it might just be a fake. But it did brighten up my week a little.


I want a hole to open up and swallow me. And the world to leave me all alone. And the days to keep on raining. Its not sad. Nor am I trying to be goth like. I just like the idea of the sound of the rain in total darkness. The cold wind chilling you to your bones. The shivers running down your spine. I want to hide in a corner and cry the day away. But I feel as though I'm in a circular room. Just going around in circles. Getting crazed thoughts, getting delusions.


I think its no use to dwell on Chip no more. Chip aka Cat, has a Bunny. Fill in states at room temperature. He can't possibly NOT have a -ugh- Bunny.


Ahh... The age of madness... I heart Chip no more... But you have to agree, that Arab, squeeky-voiced, hunky, gorgeous speciment of a teen is very nice to oogle and droogle at... ( That sounds crap but I wanted something that rhymes with oogle and has the same meaning as drool )


[[ But you won't get to see these tears I cry ]]