wells`

i've decided that no one understands me better than myself
so i might as well keep everything on a non-personal level
why tell people things in the hopes that they would listen - not just hear - and then find out that they just don't get your point
so i've given up trying to get my point across unless its about studies or projects or whatnot
so far, i've only found one person who's able to listen


hhmms
i've realised that my blog is becoming a sort of place where i try to reason myself out
so maybe that's one of the reasons why i don't really appreciate people commenting on things that i feel are just my way of viewing the world
i mean, everybody has thier own perspectives
their own way of eating spaghetti
their own way or doing a math problem
their own way of interpreting a poem
i've screwed up some things in my life and well, maybe its a thing worth going thru
but i think for now non-personal is the way to go
so what if people think i have a *ehem* wall
feeling is like love
you can't describe it
but you know it there
so i think, yeah


*i'm only happy when it rains
i'm only happy when its complicated
and though i know you can't appreciate it
i'm only happy when it rains


you know i really dont like it when people say non-chalantly that they are *this and *that and oh-so *this and *that
it gets on my nerves


everybody has their own insecurities
their lil skeletons in the closet
espescially girls
talking about girls,
hidhir once put a nick that said "minahs just don't get it that they're minahs"
which is true


hhmms
i was talking to myself today
and there were just so many things that i wanted to blog about
but they just don't come
*sheesh


so anywhos
if i can't talk to people
then i guess i was wise back then
coz i really kept personal problems to myself
i didnt risk getting hurt
however when i do talk i feel as though people just forget abt it
i know, some of you may have experienced harder more worse things
but i guess when you feel really low or bad it just makes you feel better[?] when u feel as if the world revolves around you or that you are just the saddest thing on the face of this Earth
maybe its just a teenage thing
but really it does feel better
maybe i have indulged myself in a lil too much self help books
espescially Sean Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens
heekx
now THAT'S a good read~


so this skin is like a tribute
sorta
to well
to forget about the stuffs
coz hey,
shit happens


yurgh
reality bites
*ow


wells today [ok NOT today, saturday ] i went out to eat at Semei
of all places
my dad wanted my bro to drive but he didn't come home from Caltex so we went without him
dad wanted to eat at Banquet but it was too crowded
so we went to Han River
a steamboat thingy
quite fun actually
heheh
i ate till i was bloated
there was just so much to eat
hahah
dunno why
but didn't eat as much as usual
and my parents said "rugi ajak adik"
hahahakx...
the view at simei was nice tho...


i told mom about my problem
*heesh
she listens
but has a short attention span
and when i get people like that
i'm just too embarrased to continue my story
it's like you're just too desperate
so anyways


ouh yeah,
and i also told her that my other cousins kept saying that i was fat even though i'm not in trim n fit and not over weight
that im a healthy weight
and that i was really fed up with all of those comments
one of them actually told my mom that *pls pls pls say this in a whiny kinda voice* "even though she eats A LOT, i can gain weight but SHE doesn't"
geez, that takes the cake
and she keeps telling ANYBODY who cares to listen, over and over and OVER again that she's just TOO skinny
SHEESH~!
feel like *@&$+?!?@#
grrrRRR


but then she told me that the people from my father's side said that i have a nice figure
that i was not too fat not too skinny
that im tall
and that my skin colour is just so-so
that made me feel...
nice!
haha...


and before we left Northpoint
i browsed around this one perfume shop and found a small bottle of Elizabeth Arden's Green Tea
30ml
costing S$19.90
and my mom bought it for me
heheh...
yay!
so she has bought for me in total THREE different bottles of perfume
Body Shop's White Musk and Moonflower
and Elizabeth Arden's Green Tea


actually i dragged mom into the shop coz i saw Escada's Ibitza Hippie[?]
and i wanted her to smell it
and i wanted to buy the small sample bottle
but i only saw the $60+ bottle
and upon closer inspection of the shop i saw Elizabeth Arden
hehe...
and the rest, they say, is history


hhmmss...
few more hours to go before Monday
before my whole life changes
pray for me